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HOLYOKE SEM., June 11, 1857.  

My DEAREST, --Yesterday Miss Jessup said to me that she would like to have me return to the Sem. next year and assist them in their work, that she did not know whether it was my intention to teach or not, but she supposed Mr. Greene had not completed his studies yet and thought it probable my services could be obtained. I told her that our plans were not definite yet, but that it was possible we might be settled in Dec.  She said she should like me to return if but for a few weeks. I think I ought give her my decision in a few weeks. I could not decline at once yesterday.  I felt as if I must have your expression on the matter though I think I understand now how you feel with regard to it.  I wish I could see you & we could talk over these things.  Perhaps they do not trouble you as they do me & I try to banish them from my mind.   

I have not received any message from you this evening & I wonder a little at it.  Oh, I believe I am too impatient to have that question of the "call" decided, I do not like suspense although I ought to submit to it in a right spirit.  I wish Miss J. had deferred her interview with me until next week.  I would like to be able to tell her definitively what we expected.  But I guess it will all round just right.

Now in case we should be married in Dec. I do not know what to say about spending three or four weeks here.  I suppose it would not interfere with my duties at home.  I should probably have to assist in the examinations of the new scholars were I to return here.  But I do not imagine it would be of any particular advantage to me and of course some other one can be found who will do as well if not better than myself.  I do not know what to reply to Miss J. & I do wish you would advise me.  I told Miss J. that I did not feel myself qualified for the situation she invited me to. She replied that perhaps I did not know as well as others about that. 

I had a very pleasant chat with her, and even approached her so near as to express the hope that I should some time see her in my own home.  Oh, I do value her confidence, but these tokens of regard do make me long to sit by your side [weep?] on your shoulder.  I presume we can accomplish all our business by letter, but if you receive a favorable call from H[atfield] I wish we might meet and consider our calls together.  

I should like to hear from you by letter on Sat. if you do not think it best not to come over here on that day or the first of next week. 

I love you with my whole heart My Love & I am with you save with this fettering body. 

Your Own Louisa

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