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HOLYOKE SEM., June 10, 1857.  

My Own John, -- I longed yet almost feared to open your letter yesterday for I expected it would contain the decision of the good people of H[atfield]. My fears did not arise from any desire that that should be our home, & therefore that I should be disappointed in that way, provided the last meeting had not been favorable. I know my doubts were wholly uncalled for, but I imagine my great Foe was trying to infuse a little bitterness into my cup of happiness. I feel right now. If we do not receive such news from H[atfield] as we might wish, we shall have no more reason for being cast down than a thousand others have had, and it will probably be what we need if we are disappointed.  

At the same time that thought of "the Call" [?] troubling me.  I felt somewhat disturbed by an accidental interview I had with Miss Jessup.  She had been absent three days & when I met her she shook my hand very cordially said she was very glad to see me, that it seemed a long time since she last saw me &c. and then followed the plain question related to the wedding and of course I must tell her the whole truth and  did  as well as I could.  I imagined she suspected me of not acting a perfectly honorable part in staying away till Friday and after all not attending the wedding.  I cannot bear to have a suspicion of that kind rest on me.  I guess though there is none.  Miss J. has seemed as kind as ever to-day.   

I studied last Sat. and made [?] all my last lessons.  I love to think of my visit with you.  It preceded my most joyous anticipations and the reality more than answered them.  Oh, my Dearest, my heart is turning new tendrils around you every day -- bye & bye they will put forth faster & in greater strength.  It will not be very long that we must endure this separation.  

Mr. Rogan was here last week Wed. brought Lu's letters and dag. & left them with Miss Grassie.  He conversed very freely with Miss G. about his affairs.  Said it was a mistaken idea Lu. had that he loved M. [Coules?].  That he thought Lu had not much heart, that she was hypocritical & had not treated him right in not telling him that she had artificial teeth.  Oh he was full of his complaints & self-justifying pleas.  Mr. Grassie hopes he shall never be guilty of treating a lady has [sic] Mr. R. has treated Lu.  I think his proceedings last week were very dishonorable. 

Mr. [Fray?] has engaged to supply the pulpit in [--land] Parish the three coming Sabbaths.  Next week Wed. I expect to visit at Granby.  Perhaps you know that George took my parasol back with him to be repaired.  I wrote him about the handle to an old parasol being left at the Village for someone of your family, to be used in place of the broken handle.  I am not sure that it will look as well & if there is anything said about it in your presence will you be so kind as to look after the matter, a little.  I only use a parasol on the Sab. & I hope there will be no trouble taken about sending it to me. 

I hope to hear from you to-day or to-morrow.  Will it not be a relief to have this question decided? 

Good bye 

From your own true Louisa 

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